And he made it look easy...

I suddenly occurred to me that I hadn't passed along any of my inane and superfluous 'wisdom' lately, so in an effort to rectify that very situation, I shall pass along this. My favorite guitar players really don't play all that well. The amazing thing is, I think I just figured out why they're my faves.

Have you ever watched one of those strongman competitions on TV? Don't fib, you know you have, just go on ahead and admit it. I'll never know, and you'll have the satisfaction of having not lied to your computer. I'll wait...

Owned up have you? Good, then we can proceed. Do you have any idea why those strongman contests are so darned entertaining? Because while they're doing something most of us likely can't do, they actually have the common courtesy to make it look difficult. I hate* talented people who make things look easy, it's just not entertaining. Make it look hard, and I mean Joe Cocker hard. That's one of my favorite things about Joe Cocker, he looks like he's having a stroke every time he sings. That's frickin' brilliant! You see, Joe's figured it out; Make it look like it's killing you, and you make it more effective.

One of my favorite guitarists (of all times) is Johnny Marr. Don't know who that is? I'll tell you. (If you do, we definitely need to talk.) Johnny Marr was the guitarist for the 80's group The Smiths. Don't remember who they were? You poor, poor, disadvantaged person you. The Smiths were the poster kids for every mopey, pitiful teenager alive in 1984. Hands anyone? Sad music, sad, sad music. But brilliant. The older I get, the more brilliant I think it was. Well Johnny was a good guitar player, maybe even great, but where I became a fan of Johnny's is when I read an article that quoted Johnny as answering a question thusly.

First the question; How did you get the guitar sound you used on 'How Soon Is Now'? (Ordinary guitarists would have answered with something like - 'Well, I used a bank of 57 Fender Twin Super-Duper Reverbs with the factory vibrato, coupled with a Fender ScrunchOcaster and about 73 rare. expensive and difficult to find foot pedal effects) Johnny's answer was far more revealing - ' I can't remember, I've tried for years to recall exactly how I did that, but I've never been able to replicate it.' Instantly Johnny Marr became my hero. You see, Johnny's human, I can relate to that. I never do anything super cool while anybody's watching. I always pull out my best stuff while I'm alone. When I try to explain what I did, how cool it (I) was, most everybody looks at me like it's some kind of big fish story.

All I'm saying is, make it look hard. Make it look like it took some effort. Walking on water was only easy for Jesus. St. Peter had a slightly more difficult (and damp) go of it.

*A-1 Hate might be a tad strong... Strongly dislike fits a touch better.

FOTNO